Dain Bramaged

Extreame Pleasures Call For Extreame Measures...

2007-07-15T04:40:00.000+10:00

The great debate! The big question! Life’s mystery! What the hell am I on about? WHATS THE MEANING OF LIFE? Many scholars tried to answer this question many have failed, many philosophers have pondered at life’s question, many are still pondering…I on the on the other hand believe that I posses the knowledge to such a great issue.

For my first argument I will start of by originating my thesis back…way back to where it all began! The creation of man…whether it be by evolution or god snapping his fingers, humans have one unwritten code in there genes that predeceases all of our other codes… this being “reproduction.” Ill throw a curve ball at you, in my belief mans sole purpose is to reproduce, intern making it the meaning, the middle and the ending to all our lives. A rock has been placed on this earth for a reason, to create an ore or a mineral in order to be used as a resource…if it didn’t have a purpose it wouldn’t exist! Thus, restating our purpose is to reproduce. Not to educate ourselves, not to educate others…not even to preserve other life forms (cause they wouldn’t need preserving if we weren’t here in the first place!).

When we wait at the bus stop and sit in a certain way, when we stroke our hair or touch our belt when a good looking person walks past and even when we try on clothes before we leave home every sat night, we are performing a subconscious act. Everything we do is done for a reason, even when you are alone…you perform certain behaviours even though u might be oblivious to them! This is done because we are performing the act (as I like to call it) of “involuntary pre-sextural notion disorder.” The thing that is going through everyone’s mind every second of the day regardless of gender. The notion that we may find a mate in order to reproduce and pass on our gene! Why do you cut your hair? Why do you shower? Why does fashion even exist?

Eddie Murphy said it best when he stated “Women like material things, and men like women! Heck if a guy could fuck in a cardboard box, he wouldn’t buy a house!” and then he said something about porsches and “GOT YA BITCH!” I couldn’t have put it better myself! Look at the feathers of the peacock…or the Maine of a lion. These animals over time and generations have succeeded in the evolutionary ladder because there “involuntary pre-sextural notion disorder” is inbuilt and can be physically seen on there bodies, in fact they would poses voluntary not involuntary disorder. This is the same as us human being except they are a little harder to notice. Why do women wear high heels?…I mean they hurt don’t they, from what I’ve heard :P they do this to enhance their body making it more appealing to man. Why do men wear tight shirts or singlets? Not for comfortability that’s for sure! I’ts to enhance and present the male in its perfect form to the opposite sex.

Let me use the animal kingdom as an example for a moment before i conclude my thesis. Let us take a closer look at the peacock (i love saying that word) and it’s mating habits. The female peacock (there i go again) or the hen sets forth in search of the male with the most extravagant feathers... simply because those with the most colourful and exuberant colours are the males who are well fed...and if you are well fed you are healthy... and if you are healthy you are fit... and if you are fit you have less chance of getting sick...and if you have less chances of getting sick you are more likely to win any fight... and if you are more likely to win any fight you have strong genes in defending your home and offspring...and if this is the case you make a wonderful companion and suitable father for her children!!! Thus proving that the hen always chooses the male with the most extravagant display! And as a result not mating with the peacock that does not have these attributes. Putting the peacock species in a lovely predicament because the less fit don't have babies and the fitter do! Caring on the superior gene and therefore over time creating a super species of immaculate birds... [Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest! but i prefer it in my words]

Reiterating, that the meaning of life to us human beings is to reproduce! However, this notion is debatable because others may think that there is more to life… well there is, but the “sole” meaning, the “be all and end all” meaning is to reproduce. Scholars suggest that it’s not how you die but how you live your life! You never step into the same river twice; meaning no matter how many times you try to answer life’s questions, life is always changing. If you were to ask yourself the same question everyday you would receive a different answer every time.

"It is unfortunate however, no matter how hard you throw you pebble into the pond called life you can only make a ripple, making no REAL effect to the pond. And over time your ripples will spread out and you will be forgotten for all you achievements... So my suggestion is, let us all throw our pebbles in together...AT THE SAME TIME!" Michael H. (me)

i molested myself last night...i said no but i knew i wanted it!

2007-06-16T02:34:00.001+10:00

Well i think this proves it... i am officially an insomniac! well not officially (coz i have been one for ages) but its definatly a problem!At what point of the night do you realise that "shit its 4.30 and im not tired"?...lol obviously at 4.30! der im such a dudim jus feeling a lil "emotional" and i use that term in such a way where it means i have alot on my mind...not that im havin a mad teary... but shit is fazing me! (i hope not too much colloquial in one sentence?)Normally im pretty predictable...in the scense that u can always predict im doin something unpredictable! but hey grow up that me!let me get to my point before u start interupting me! i have told a few people this but i feel everyone needs to hear it coz its the truth...and dnt u let anyone tell u otherwise!at 19 (may 18th for those of u who forgot...) a "male" and i have it in inverted commas for a reason... a "male" poseses certain atributes...for example, it is inevitable that at some point in a males life he was a cronic mastubater... its called testosterone! thats inevitable...everyone sees that one comming! (no pun intended) but what we dnt see comming is the fact that a 19 year old "male" has an agenda! a subconscious list that we must fill out before we can even comprehend what comitment means!ill elaborate! there are certain things one can do at 19 that one cant at 21 or 23 or even 26! One is potentially able to commit the worst deed however it would not be frowed upon as much AS MUCH as it would if that same deed was to be commited by a 21 year old!therefore, "males" feel that at the sensitive age of 19 time is of the essence. we need to cross off as many things of this...list as possible in order to tell ourselves that we lived a fullfilling life!at the instance where this list is no longer the priority of a "males" life and a female is...the "male" is potentially putting his subconscious goals on the line and postponing them...however, i adress my earlier point! to a 19 year old time is money and by prolonging this secret agenda he can intern create a greater problem in the future!"but how does this apply to life?" you ask! ill tell u...i knew a guy who went out with a lady for 8 years...they had a very succsesful relationship (its not the relationship im scrutinizing here) it the state of mind the chap was in when he went into the realtionship! anyway 8 years later the worst thing ever happend... they broke up! he is now 28... and his behaviour has become sum what of a problem!this 28 year old feels that he needs to "catch up" on life...its quiet sick really! he has now started recriational party drugs and is intoxicated all the time...not to mention 8 years of one va-jay-jay turned him into a slut! he could possibly have venereal deseases!back to my point...the state of mind he was in! at 20 he sacrificed his "list" his "agenda" to be commited to one woman and now at 28 he is back on this trip where he feels he needs to live a forfilling life before he settles down! but it is probably too late! by 28 most men are married and this guy is re-living his youth...who knows maybe he will come to his senses in 8 years... which he would then be...36...he wanted to buy an old 2 seater convertable...maybe a shabby dog... a nice scalf and go on sunday drives hopping from coffee shop to coffee shop reading every single article in the paper! but his dreams were cut short... he made a huge decision...look im not sayin...dnt have a girlfriend and dnt get married or whatever till ur older...im jus saying make sure u are in a comfortable state of mind before u even consider a soul partner! wouldnt it have been much better if he did get his convertable lived his life alone until he was ready then got into a serious realtionship...THE GUY IS ON THE VERGE OF KILLING HIMSELF! i kno which option id pick!one peice of advice for guys...DONT JEPORDISE THE LIST! do it cross shit off get it out coz u will regret it later on...hook up with some minga in a club...build a project car...dnt sleep for 3 days straight... go travel the world...wake up in a place where u have no idea...write a book...what ever it may be...FINISH THE LIST!most things on the list are dreams! yes! most things are not even reality...but dnt totally disregard them jus because of this fact!im not saying these things cant be achieved with a partner but u are intern stunting ur own development! u are comprimising ur very own existance! where is your self worth! your sence of achieving something on your own!for 19 years i am still trying to figure myself out...and something tells me i have a long long long way to go before i even get close to the core! i made up a new term its called a quarter life crisis...lolthis isnt an attack on women nor on relationships...i am mearly stating what i think is the harsh reality of what is happening to the modern day "male"... all i am doin is projecting my views on a particular issue in hope that it will shed light not only into confused people but open the eyes of the females who believe the opposite sex are shallow beings! yes i understand i may be generalising but this is my world u jus live in it! lolwe have certain issues not even we can compehend! please be mindful...regards,Mini {Michael[mick(the insomniac)]} :P

Dont believe everything you think!

2007-05-03T04:52:00.000+10:00

Im back in the blogging game guys... nice to see i have made a great recovery.... not many views latley but thats fine...slowly slowly i will win all your hearts back! mark my words...my current views are 1087...gimmie a check back in a few months!

see you on the flip side!

LETTER TO GOD!

2007-02-26T09:18:00.001+11:00

This would have to be by far the funniest thing i have ever uploaded onto Youtube *funniest thing he ever uploaded*... its brings a tear to my eye *tear to his eye* i jus love watching it *loves watching it*... hope u enjoy! *hopes u enjoy*

Ive got nothing against them...its just....

2007-02-19T09:57:00.000+11:00

THE NEWEST VID! Yes i know it made its debut on Myspace but here is its official launch!
i dont know why im raving so much about it...its only the tip of the iceberg!

GUESS WHO'S BACK? BACK AGAIN!

2007-02-19T09:31:00.000+11:00

Ahhh! feels good to stretch my arms and legs and get stuck into you again! Its been a long time and shouldn't have left you but i needed the time apart! and i think its done us both good...

Look dont get me wrong Dain Bramaged i missed you... i really did! its jus there have been a few other things on my mind lately!

Im sorry that i haven't been paying particualr attention to you...Yes i have a Myspace account!!! So what? thats doesnt mean u have been replaced! Its not my fault! the damb thing has got me in a choke hold!

Hahaha u crack me up old friend... its good to be back! NO WAIT! its Great to be back...

There is only one problem! i havent blogged for so long i doubt anyone is even reading the darn thing!... doesnt matter... its only a mater of time till i get my rep up again! haha

A race to finish last!

2007-01-19T23:17:00.000+11:00

As most of you know and some of you don’t. This blog was created simply because it was an assignment for one of my classes. The idea of the blog was to get us posting at least once a week and to be marked on our writing (not videos) as citizen journalists. The themes could range from far and wide and your writing could be about anything. This blog has been though a lot and means something more to me than just a URL. What I’m trying to say is (*tear*) even though today is the deadline and nothing past 19th of Jan 2007 12:00pm EST will not be assessed there is no real reason for me to blog past this point. So what I’m basically trying to say is… I need you to say good-bye to the Dain Bramaged we all know and love… it was fun… I will genuinely miss you guys. Goodbye black page! Goodbye little funny pic of me on the right hand side! Goodbye the number 972 on my site meter! Goodbye…GOODBYE! It was good… ill miss u!

And now for the good news! Seeing that as of tonight no real restriction will be put on my blog and I am not being judged (in an educational sense), Dain Bramaged will undergo a little construction, Dain Bramaged will change a few things, Dain Bramaged will no longer be Dain Bramaged… This bog will blow your mind (as of tomorrow). I have such an extraordinary idea that even if I begin to think of what it may be my head will explode from sheer extraordinarynessnessness. And that’s a lot of nessness! So by the power infested in me I here by produce the greatest blog-thought-up-and-produced-because-we-had-to-for-class-and-if-I-didn’t-I-will-fail-and-then-intern-have-to-re-do-my-course ever! All I ask of you is to pay attention because I am so very exited about this.

BLOG CRITIQUE- We make money not art

2007-01-19T23:14:00.000+11:00

The blog I have chosen to critique as our last assessment for this course is www.we-make-money-not-art.com/.

“A blog about art” you say “Oh how so very renaissance of you Michael”, “Oh how so cliché”, “We shall rendezvous by the debut at a quarter to two, where we had déjà vu to bit you adieu with cucumber sandwiches at tiffany’s”… No No this isn’t that kind of art this art is unlike any other. This art is the future. This art is a gateway to our world in 50 years. This art is…technology. Imagine the concept for a moment, combining something subjective with something objective. What would be the product? The answer is within this blog.
This blog is important to me because it shows interesting ideas and new concepts in today’s global society. It is important to the community because it acts as a global village where artists and technologists can update themselves on the latest technological art. It was claimed by “WMMNA” i.e. Regine Debatty on 09/16/2005. It is not anonymous as all of its members show their real names. The content is a combination of art, technology and entertainment. It has posts of stories describing this unique style of art, which comes from all around the world. The reason why it impacts me greatly as a viewer is because it has interviews of many well-regarded people in the art world, it makes posts multiple times a day and even organises calls and events through its vast network. The publisher Debatty has contributed to design and art magazines such as Items (NL), Art Review (UK) and Front (NL).
The design is fairly simple. There is a basic white and grey colour scheme for the background with pink and blue banners and links. Some of the text is in fact different colour and there is advertisements breaking up each blog. When I first accessed the site the audience consisted of 11,719. There were links from 2,629 blogs and was ranked 167 in the world. What I find amazing is that there are over 55 million blogs in the world and this one is ranked 167 even though it has such simple design. Some posts can be a little explicit in the sense that art is confronting and makes a statement of society, however art is confronting and this is expected from postmodernism. The author fortunately doesn’t face censorship as the art is completely legal.
The blog has taught me so many new and interesting facts, if only I knew what a blog was during the HSC I wouldn’t have such a hard time coming up with an idea in art!
This blog will defiantly fit into the future media landscape, as that is what the blog is based upon, how art and technology coincide and are intertwined. As long as there is technology and art this blog will forever flourish.

I don't know... I...just...don't...know!

2007-01-17T01:16:00.000+11:00

I don’t know. I just…don’t know. I know I said in my previous post that my life was changing, that’s its taking a new turn…well it is. But at the same time I think there are a lot of negative consequences, allot more responsibility, allot more that is expected of me, allot more is needed from me, I am expected to do a lot more…I don’t know. I’m finding it hard, you know, to give everyone what they want. At this point I kind of think that lifes’ leaving me behind or giving up on me in a sense. For example, my brother is giving me some deadlines, some ultimatums, and if I don’t come up with anything…there are going to be some consequences. In regards to school, I said I was falling behind, I am catching up, and I am. But still the workload is immense. I think it is going to be a really tough week this week. I have assignment that I got an extension for due Monday, two assignment on Tuesday one of which I got an extension for. One assessment on Wednesday; another assignment on Thursday; and about three due on Friday. The final assessable task I have is on Monday, which is an exam…and a scary one at that! So basically, Nine assignments over the next Nine days!

My mum has seen a drastic change in me, she is very worried, she complains all the time how I have changed how she doesn’t think I am her son anymore. How I used to be so mature but know I have become really immature. My Father doesn’t want to speak to me… simply because of my sleeping habits (As a matter of a fact my mum just walked into my room and its early in the morning… lets just say she wasn’t too impressed!) I have been going to bed very late and waking up even later. So they are a bit disappointed in me… you know nothing hurts more when your father turns to you and says “Your Bother wanted so many things and he got them because he took action… you… your never going to get anything or be anything… I wish I had another son like your brother” (except it was in Greek… and you could see the sorrow in his eyes).

My sister is also disappointed in me, in terms of being behind me every step of the way and helping me get into the course and giving me inspiration to achieve certain goals. She was very very upset to hear I was falling behind because she went on a limb to convince my parent that this was right for me and best fit my personality!

I feel that life is letting me down even though I don’t show it, there is a lot I keep in. I feel that life is letting me down in regard to my long-term dreams. I do want become an actor. I do want to become famous. I do want to be recognised. However everyday these dreams become less and less achievable and intern I am coming to terms with reality and I think that’s what’s getting me down so much. Its upset me a lot. Acting and performing played a major part in my life and its slowly slipping away… you know, every chance I get I strangle the notion of performing! … I get really exited. Maybe that’s why I’m so disappointed? I go on Youtube as much as I can, as often as I can. I just see all these people out there that are really funny and are getting heaps of recognition for it. I don’t know if its jealousy…but sometimes I wish I were them.

A lot of people tell me at school, family and friends that I should continue with the acting ability I have. But I’ve seen what’s out there! Ive seen a lot! And there are 10 times better people in 10 times better situations and I feel I could never get there… I try to keep reminding myself that I am unique and what not…but reality is that everyone is unique! If I don’t give a damn bout the person sitting next to me (metaphorically speaking) why would anyone care about me?

There was just a whole bunch of things people didn’t know about me… lol I’ve got really strong morals and really strong ethics.

I use to be a really nice and pleasant person. But I feel I’m not becoming what I used to be, I feel that I have lost faith… In the sense that I always had sympathy, I always had manners, I always had patience, always had tolerance, always saw the bright side of life. But now, I have become so vein! This is another reason why I think my life is moving too fast! I’m becoming something that I hated…

My moral has just diminished… into nothing. I re-evaluate myself everyday, and I’m always faced with the same issues. If my mind has stopped functioning like the person I want to be than why is my body still living day by day? Why is so much expected of my life and why do I expect so much out of it? … I want love! … I want happiness! … I want tranquillity! … I want understanding? … But I just don’t know…

See you on the flip side!

2007-01-12T02:17:00.000+11:00

I’m finding it really difficult to write actually, to write things for my blog. So, I found that it is so much easier for me especially to talk in front of the camera. This is the reason why I’m video taping myself talk. What I am doing is a video blog and then will later transfer what I have said into a written diary. So I’m sorry if it sounds more like me talking rather than me writing but its so I can write more.

Lets begin!

A lot has been happening actually in my life over the past month that’s changed me dramatically. The major difference in lifestyle is that I broke up with my girlfriend. It happened a little over a month ago and a lot has changed. I feel that I’m taking charge of my life. I am experiencing things that I didn’t feel before. For example I can make decisions a lot easier now, I don’t have to consult a second party and also with my actions. The consequences of my actions really only affect on one person now, which is me. I loved my girlfriend, yes I did. I loved her a lot, she played a major part in my life. And now that we are not together, I am sad but I have learnt from that experience. I have nothing against her; I actually think she is a very beautiful person. Again I think I have to thank her in a way because my life without her has changed, for the better and I think she is the one that helped me realize that. That life is beautiful!

In terms of work. I’m working harder. I am trying to save up some money to buy a new car! Unfortunately, the car I have now is a ridicules excuse for an automobile. MTV Please pimp my ride! Lol Working harder, making more money, there is nothing wrong with that.

In terms of school. I am falling a little bit behind but my family has given me a lot of inspiration and I’m slowly catching up. I have recently taken a lot of days from school; I don’t know why I just think it is easier… not facing the truth. It is easier; it’s so much easier staying at home. You see I am a little afraid of conflict, not that there is conflict at school but say if I have an assignment due. If there is one due and I haven’t completed it, I probably wont turn up. And eventually avoid that teacher simply because I’m scared of what would happen to me.

In terms of my health. I’m not really sick but there are a few things about me that I need to change. My sleeping habits in fact have been all over the place for the past 4-5 days. I’ve been going to bed at 6am and waking up at 8 for school. Simply because of my workload, leaving everything to last minute and the added bonus of catching up! So that’s 8 hours sleep over the past 4 days. Actually yesterday I went to bed at 6:30pm and slept till 4 in the afternoon, so I caught up! Lol However, now I plan on going to bed early and waking up early and then maybe do a little exercise in the morning…. If I can be bothered. One step at a time, firstly I will focus on waking up.

I just find it a lot easier being single, it not that I hated being in a relationship. Its just there is a lot less responsibility. For example, I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time and invited them to coffee and within 5min we were drinking coffee. Basically I don’t think it would be as easy if I were in a relationship. I see others in relationships, its not that I envy them or that I despise them… I feel exactly the same way I would if I were dating, I’m defiantly happy for them. I’m happy for everyone in relationships, I think they are good… it all depends on when you have them.

In terms of Family. They are good! They are defiantly treating me all right. They do have problems with me because I have been taking days off school and because I have changed a bit. I am going out a lot more, experimenting with different things and they don’t really like it. I guess they are going to have to deal with it because it is my life… its now or never. The other day in fact, they called the family exorcist. He came over into my room while I was sleeping and tried to rid me of the devil. I was vomiting and screaming of coarse… crawling on the sealing but I think it is safe to say now that the devil is gone! There you go mum, I didn’t believe you when you said I have become the devil’s child…but I guess you were right! lol

So kids! That was basically my life now in a nutshell. I felt it was necessary to do this for my blog especially. Simply, because I haven’t posted anything written in a long time and I feel that I should. But also I wanted to get some things off my chest and get u guys knowing a little about me!

Wow! Talking into a camera really helps me speak… I just couldn’t stop. Took me forever to write all this crap down! Lol

Vanitys' a Virtue: EPISODE 36

2007-01-02T23:43:00.000+11:00

Vanitys' a Virtue: EPISODE 64

2007-01-02T01:35:00.000+11:00

Vanitys' a Virtue: EPISODE 47

2007-01-02T01:14:00.000+11:00

TAKE ON ME

2006-12-13T02:11:00.001+11:00

EDDIE MURPHY-BOOGIE IN YOUR BUTT

2006-12-13T01:49:00.000+11:00

Why is my life always about me?...

2006-12-04T01:21:00.000+11:00

I’m speechless… I don’t know how to act or how to react. I don’t know, maybe I need help… why do i always feel apathetic? Why am I the only one accountable? Why am I hollow yet heavy? Why am I always mentally exhausted? Why is that my life is always about me? Why can’t it ever be about someone else? The thing that gets me, and I have no idea how to avoid it is… My actions always have consequences? Is it because I’m growing up or is it completely the opposite? Why do I always cry for recognition? I’ve tried stopping myself! I’ve tried! But I cant… Maybe its because I see myself as quiet and humble maybe its because I cant control my life maybe its because I’m lazy and all I want is solitude and sleep….

My idea of a perfect world is a deserted mountainous island that is full of rainforest and at the foot of the mountain on this island I plan on building a little wooden house and a nice little bedroom where all the carpeting is hand crafted by myself, the windows will be draped with white curtains and it will always be open for the cool breeze to blow in. Under the window is a bed with white silky smooth sheets that are always fresh. I’m going to build a fountain as well and the sound of the water trickling will have the exact same sound of children laughing and playing. As I sleep all I will hear is the sound of the ocean and kids playing. It will always be ringing in my ear and all I want to do on this island is sleep in my bed during the day and during the night sleep on the sand next to a campfire. I will have no agenda, have no future, and have no responsibility… just sleep.

Why does my life revolve around me? Why is it that everything always has something to do with me? Maybe its because I let it! Maybe its because I’m always talking about it and always reminding everyone… I’m even talking about it now!

Sometimes I wish life would give up on me… leave me alone! I don’t want to die I just want life to leave me alone… I guess so I can live it my way… I’m always making excuses. It’s because of “this” I cant do “that.” Or its “that’s” fault I didn’t do it… I’ve always wanted to be a priest or a monk… I love the idea of dedicating my whole life to one thing! I don’t care what it is jus as long as it bring peace, solitude and love…for myself.

I’m standing on the edge of a cliff that is my life! And I want to jump but I wait…I wait for someone or something to stop me… How I’d love to fly…and feel the wind pass through my body…but I wait…and ill keep waiting… forever! Maybe its because I’m scared of what will happen at the bottom! Maybe the sensation I’m looking for is a bottomless pit… where I can fall forever leaving everything at the top. There is no question of thirst or hunger…just air! Air and sleep… like the breeze through my white curtains on my island and the air at the top of my cliff! It’s always blowing around me…

If I post this blog it is due to the outcome of my feelings... if I don’t it means I just want to sleep. It feels like I need a lifetime to catch up on the sleep I’ve always wanted and I want to catch up on others sleep as well. I WANT TO DO THE SLEEPING FOR ALL OF US! That’s how much I love closing my eyes and dreaming… I’m willing to do it for an eternity. The real reason why I’m writing this is because I am procrastinating. I’m procrastinating from my life and from the consequences it leaves me… if only life would forget me…and air could pass through my body as I slept… I would want my dreams to be documented so as if I ever woke up I’d read the documentation and feel the sensation all the time.

LIONEL RICHIE

2006-12-04T00:22:00.000+11:00

This clip means a lot to me… and I posted this song in particular for that reason… it seems that every time I listen to it, it brings me enjoyment and a lot of childhood memories. I hope it does the same for you!

a nameless character in need of a shameless play!

2006-11-19T03:18:00.000+11:00

The one thing that I love about my blog is that people can see both sides of me… the “some-what” educated, unique styled, comedic writer and the crazy, colourful, spontaneous, scrupulous actor! The reason why I have posted this blog in particular to connect with my viewers a little bit more… I have been receiving some criticism that I’m not writing enough. Its not that I don’t like writing its just I take it very seriously, especially when a lot of people are going to read it.

What’s funny is that some people think I have a natural talent, that it’s all easy and sacred when I’m on the “stage”. Let me tell you something! I have performed in many high school productions, been taped at many birthday parties, developed countless relationships with the mirror to the point of making myself laugh, lunchtime after lunchtime of amateur dramatics, sat behind hours and hours of web cam and mobile phone videos and every time… I get nervous regardless of how big or small the audience! Whether its me looking at my reflection, fooling around in front of a couple of mates, 300 parents and teachers in a school hall or 600 people behind their computers!!! I still get butterflies in my stomach.

I get asked a lot “How long does it take you to make one of those videos?” Well, the answer is… the time it takes you to turn the web cam on and lip-sync the song! I try not to put a lot of thought process into my videos because after hours of sitting there what your left with is a manipulated, boring, staged performance that probably isn’t witty or funny at all. I make my best work out of impulse and improvisation. Oh and with a little help of sugar… but not a lot!

What I tend to do is take a lot of time preparing my costume, scurrying around the house at 2 in the morning looking for a glittery scarf or running down the back in the rain to grab a peg off the line for my ear or slapping poster paint on my face trying to create a perfect 12 o’ clock shadow… then when I’m all dolled up and ready to go I sit in front of my web cam like a blank canvas and let the song do the rest! I only give myself one chance to create the perfect shot, its very rarely that I will shoot anything twice and if I do its mainly because of technical difficulty.

So there you have it a little insight of my lonely life and how my humour gets put on film… And remember kids occupying ones self by means of conversation with your conscience in the back of family take-a-way shop for 18 years of your life is a great personality builder…

HORNY

2006-11-15T23:12:00.000+11:00

MR ROBOTO

2006-11-15T19:21:00.001+11:00

request #4: BOB MARLEY

2006-11-15T19:19:00.000+11:00

"Oh God! The way he smiled at me..."

2006-11-10T02:58:00.000+11:00

Hello, are you one of Michael’s “fans”?… Are you sitting eagerly at home on your computer looking at this blog?... Are you thinking to yourself “How cute is he?”... Are you asking yourself will he ever return my calls?...Are you looking at his at his smile in one of his videos and thinking to yourself he is hot!?...Have u told your mother you have a new crush?...GET UP AND TELL HER RIGHT NOW! Have you ever closed your eyes and can still visualization Michael’s soft lips moving?...Are you wondering when are the dozen roses going to knock at my door? Well, this means you are just like many women, many, many women (and some men) who are in the exact same position you are in right now! LETS STOP THIS TERRORISM... on love! Michael must be dealt with. Not only is he a fugitive, but also he is the world’s most wanted man... by women (and some men). Unlike Osama, Michael is a household name. Unlike Saddam, Michael is wanted in over 600 countries. Unlike Usher, Michael is wanted in more than 12 continents around the world... And unlike anyone you have ever thought, Michael is wanted by over 24,000,000,000,000,000 different women (and some men). There is now a bounty on his head! If u can successfully hold Michael in your arms… preferably alive… and make him sing a “ballad” of love and compassion, the UN is willing to let u keep him! So remember women (and some men) you must get your hands on him before anyone else does! If you are thinking u can achieve this amazing task then u must be kidding right! WRONG… Anybody can even if you’re a geek that post himself lip-syncing on his blog, Yes ANYBODY! Including YOU! Achieve this by just setting your mind to and anything is possible. AND REMEMBER GIRLS (and some boys) --- The winner will be drawn on the 18th of May!

request #3: SEXY BACK!

2006-11-10T01:46:00.000+11:00

FIRE IN THE SKY

2006-11-09T04:19:00.000+11:00

FAITH

2006-11-08T03:15:00.000+11:00

QUEEN

2006-11-07T22:35:00.000+11:00

request #2: LA BAMBA

2006-11-06T16:59:00.000+11:00

request #1: STUCK IN A HOLE...

2006-11-05T23:20:00.000+11:00

Dain Bramaged takes a new turn...

2006-11-05T23:01:00.000+11:00

Well well well… I seem to have placed myself in a little predicament! My videos appear to be getting quiet popular! I can tell by the site meter and all the calls and messages I’ve been receiving from close friends and family… “Michael! OMG, OMFG, WTF, ROFL, LOL, LMAO, LMFAO, OMGLMFAOROFL!!!”

It’s interesting; when I started this blog I had no real intention (apart from its an assignment). I was counting on my verbal diarrhoea to get me through each week… but as most of you know my blog is more of an emotional fart that anything else! Now I have a purpose and not to mention motivation from my “fans” (what a wanker). I’m amazed at how many people responded to the video entries. A couple of people even gave me some ideas for further videos… THEN IT HIT ME! I could make money off them! Nah! What I realised is that I could take requests… I don’t mind sitting behind the camera as long as I don’t watch my own videos because that’s when I will realise what a real idiot I am!

The next video entry is for my cousin! He really liked “I see dead people…” so I’ve made one just for him. He knows who he is… ;-) I’m basically thanking him for all of the help he has done in terms of sharing my blog with his friends. Despite the fact that he is “SOO POPULAR!”

Oh! Don’t forget to contact me with your requests! Enjoy…

CONGA

2006-11-05T03:10:00.000+11:00

I SEE DEAD PEOPLE...

2006-11-04T16:56:00.000+11:00

JITTER BUG

2006-11-04T16:36:00.000+11:00

TRUE

2006-11-04T15:41:00.000+11:00

Me at a young age...

2006-11-03T14:34:00.000+11:00

What MEN want!

2006-10-30T15:37:00.000+11:00

"Oh Michael your always horny," one girl says...
"Stop it! All you can think about is sex," says another...
"Michael... What do MEN really want?

Ill tell you what we want! Is for women to get off our case! We are simple creatures only ever expressing 3 or 4 different emotions. Exited, Angry, Bored and eventually love is it that women experience so much more? And another thing, why is it that we have to "know" how to approach a female on the basis of how SHE is feeling?... Even when we have no idea how that is! Women experience compassion, sympathy, entitlement, embarrassment, the need to be complemented, fragile, ill, solitude, depression and that's no all... The funny thing is that with every mood/emotion men are expected to know how to deal with it... As if we are some sought of horse whisperer! I cant emphasize enough! Horses cant talk but women can (and sometimes don't stop!) Please! Please! Please! Tell us how u want us to treat u! Tell us everything! Why are we always caught up on this game where we guess what you want and your goal is to make it as hard as possible for us? It is not a game! Its life! My motto is "the only way to win the race, is by not competing!" Fair enough, I've been called things before " chauvinistic, pig headed, immature, horny, an idiot and even heartless," but never have I ever been called a mind reader. Which is what seems to be expected of me when it comes to female matters.

At the end of the day all MEN want is a companion... Similar to a dog! Sit in the back yard and when the owner wants to play he lets it come inside... Women unlike men want something impossible like an elephant! Thoughtful, graceful, never forgetful... And to have a huge trunk!

Now, some women have faced this reality and some don't mind conforming. But at the same time some women do! So we have to accept this. Honestly, I feel sorry for men! Being one of them I know that some of us can be wanks, a few can be bastards, but the majority are all pricks. All in all, MEN want... Like the elephant... Is to stick their trunks in the occasional water hole keeping far away from hippos, make trails in the forest and lastly comparing our tusk size with all the other members of our heard!

So...It's Only A Macchiatto!

2006-10-27T01:48:00.000+10:00

Now I don’t do this very often but occasionally I go out for coffee with friends. Its not that I don’t like doing it, its just I can never find the “energy” (and I put the word energy in inverted commas for a reason). The night panned out like this…

Got there around the time you usually go for coffee and talked about the things you usually speak of at coffee. Sex, weekend, sex, alcohol, sex, cars, sex, high school and sex… and the occasional movie quote. Well we didn’t really talk about sex but it’s all I was thinking about. It came time to order and I don’t do this very often but occasionally I order a macchiatto.. “Fair enough” you might say, what’s one “little short black espresso” going to do? Not a lot… but TWO has sought of a little impact on ones intellectual state. Especially when you’re drinking them at 11pm, consecutively, one after the other. Lets just say that there is that much caffeine in two of those drinks that I experienced 18 hours worth of enthusiasm. That night I went to bed at 5:37 in the morning and woke one and a half hours later for uni, without a problem… That’s not the point I’m trying to make here! The fact of the matter is what actually happened between the time I got home at 12.32 and the time I went to sleep that night?

Lets call this period the “CRANKED” period. Well, during this “CRANKED” period Michael accomplished/ experienced…

5.03 hours
305 min
18300sec
21350 heartbeats
22 foot steps (to toilet, fridge and bed)
35 songs (mainly 80’s)
22 cookie files
17 home made movies (both on web cam and mobile)
1 blog called TEST (minimick36.blogspot.com)
54.5MB/22 files worth of pornographic downloads (ssshhhh!)
6 tissues (Clinex)
1.5 litres of water (Mount Franklin)
4 choc chip biscuits (Weeties)
70 grams of chicken and corn noodles (2 min noodles)
368kjs of energy
1 prank call to high school peer (he hated her)
2 sticks of gum (Extra)
1 bubble (poped)
3 toilet stops (both 1 and 2)
Finished Crash Bandicoot Nitro Kart on mobile phone (too easy)
5 ring tones (polyphonic)
12 text msges (to mates)
4 bars off batteries
4 matchsticks (only used one to light the candle… he's a bit of an insomniac)
8.7 millimetres of melted wax
CO2 (carbon dioxide)
13 staples
31 Degrees Celsius
NW winds
Saw the sun rise
Spoke to his father (woke up for work)

… and then he laid his head on his pillow.

I Like Wearing Ties!

2006-10-26T00:48:00.000+10:00

I don’t see myself as much of a journalist… I’m more of an actor, and I think my writing (and personality) will illustrate this. Everyday I try to be as interesting as I possibly can because I think nothing can be more funnier than making yourself laugh! I like blowing my own horn and I think there is nothing wrong with it. However, even though I may seem (and act) self-indulgent I can somehow make people like me. I think its because I can subconsciously make a person feel important and I always tell myself “that a person’s name is to that person the most sweetest and most important sound in any language”. (Carnegie, D.)
I think I’m different to other people… though I could just be another person who thinks they are different from everybody else. I get scared sometimes that I will be forgotten, that I’m just another face, so insignificant to the world that it’s indescribable. Its like each story I have is a tiny piece of my body and every time the story goes unsaid that piece dies. The thing that upsets me the most is that I’m the only one turning up to their funerals. Hopefully through my blogs I can leave a little legacy behind. On the other hand, I’m afraid of telling people my life experiences… they are so funny they will use them as their own.

Test

2006-10-25T01:50:00.000+10:00

This is a testicles, speckticles, wallet and watch...to see if it works...its my first time...getting the hang of things...